Looking For My Resting Place

"Our hearts are restless until they rest in You, O God."

 St. Augustine

   

As I laid down in bed the other night, and began to gather my thoughts, process the day, and end with a prayer, the first thing I could say was "Lord, tame my restless heart, allow me to rest in You." Then, a quote by St. Augustine (above) and an awesome song by Audrey Assad (Restless) started to come to mind. 

As a side note- I have a particular attachment to both this song and quote because they have both really just hit home for my own spiritual journey. 

Anyway, having these spur-of-the-moment, 2AM thoughts made me realize a lot of things. 

For starters:

We obviously can never be completely and truly fulfilled while we are on this earth. As long as we are living here, our hearts will still have some sort of restlessness for our Creator. The more and more we invite and allow God into our hearts the more He will make it His resting place. When we let Him transform us and mold us into the holiness that He is calling us to is when we will find our most fulfillment. 

Handing over your deepest desires:   

For me, this means allowing God into even the smallest things in my life. You would think that it would be easier to allow God into the smaller things than your biggest obstacles but sometimes it can honestly be harder. 

Of course there will always be this reluctant-ness in giving (essentially) your life away to the displacement of God's hands. Many times I find, that when I am struggling with something,  not getting along with someone, having no clue what I am going to do after I graduate, etc. (and I say this next thing with caution) that it is almost easier to give these "larger problems" to God.

 I say that it is easier because when things arise that I know I cannot handle- like deciding what to do after high school (which is a big one for me right now)- there is so much relief in placing it in God's hands and allowing Him to reveal His Will to me through it. This is opposing to the little things like what type of music I listen to or how I waste so much time on my phone. These things are the things that I think I can handle on my own when really I can't and I can't find the joy and fulfillment that my heart is searching for until I hand it over. There is such a beauty in this self-given total surrender.

Wouldn't it just be great if every problem you ever had that you didn't want to face alone or at all, that someone would just come and magically work out all your problems for you so that everything would go well, and you wouldn't suffer**. Well just a wake up call, someone did, 2000 years ago, and He thought about you and I with every step he took and every single drop of Blood He shed. 

**I am not saying that you will not suffer in times of trial and pain. But when your can unite your sufferings with Christ on the Cross that is when there is a certain joy and zeal that will accompany your sufferings. One of my favorite quotes- "We have to understand that things may not necessarily change. But our ability to endure them, knowing that God will bear great fruit in our souls, will certainly lighten the burden." -Mother Angelica

Searching for fulfillment/ happiness in all the wrong places:

It is so so easy to get caught up in worldly desires and what society tells you is happiness. Just look at the magazine covers at the grocery store, or all the reality TV shows, the music on the radio, maybe it's even family members giving you a "life checklist" - it's all something that tells you how you have to be, what you have to do, or acquire, in order to find happiness. From one striving Catholic to another - don't listen to it. St. Paul tells us in his letter to the Romans (12:2) "Do not conform yourself to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect." Be in the world, but not of the world. 

I often find myself staying up at night or even during the day wasting SO much time on social media, I just keep re-visiting the same places hoping that something new will pop up that will make me 'happy', but nothing ever does. Often times at night when I am on my computer or phone, I will waste  time on the internet just looking for the next best thing that when I'm done and I should be praying, I am falling asleep. As opposed to sometimes, when I have the will power to set all of that stuff aside and put my relationship with God first, then I don't even think about these things that are always leaving me empty.

Where is this  so called 'Resting Place'?:

Of course, I can't give you an exact answer to this question as it is personal and specific for each person but I can start by saying where to look. Finding God in every day life is hard and honestly, it can get exhausting if you are searching in all the wrong places. 

Look in the Church- in Mass. That is where you will find God (physically & spiritually). The Altar is the Calvary of the Church. The Tabernacle is Mary's womb, it manifests life and healing for all. The Eucharist, to feed your spiritual desires and nourish your soul with the graces you need. The Catholic Church is universal- here, you can find eternal unity.

Isn't it so beautiful and amazing that we have a God who would give his life for us? Each and every last one of us - personally. And isn't it amazing, that the God of all the universe loves us so much that He wants to be physically present to us each and every day, so He has given us the Eucharist, which is, in it's simplest form bread, but truly it is the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Christ.

I urge everyone to cling to the Eucharist as much as you can. It is truly the Bread of Life. It is God's greatest gift to us. Let the Church be a place where you can find comfort. Find peace when you are near the Tabernacle. Ask Mary to knit your heart into the shape of her son's, and let her womb become your dwelling place. 

"..In giving of ourselves that we receive, and in dying that we're born into eternal life.." 

There is truly such a beauty in this self-given total surrender to God. Many blessings are poured upon someone who gives worldly things to live for the greater glory of God. 

I will be praying for all of you who read this. 

As for me, I'm just looking for my resting place and prayers would be appreciated.

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam 

"Return to me with your whole heart" Joel 2:12

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death.

Lingering For Lent?

     Lent. You may be asking yourself, 'what is Lent?', 'why do we give things up?', or maybe even 'what's the deal with no meat on Fridays?'. Those are all very valid questions to have, let's start with the basics:
 

     What is Lent?
        - Lent lasts around 40 days (excluding Sundays) beginning on Ash Wednesday, and concluding on Easter Sunday. It is 40 days because of the 40 days that Jesus spent in the desert before beginning His ministry. It is a time of spiritual cleansing, meditation, and penance. During this time, the Church calls us to prayer, fasting, and almsgiving.

     Why do we give things up for Lent?
        - It is not mandatory that you give something up for Lent, but it is strongly advised. The focus of Lent is spiritual growth, we give things up in order to replace them with things that are more beneficial to our soul's prosperity. For example: giving up social media- replace the time that you would usually spend on social media, reflecting on a Bible passage or praying for someone. Often times, people also take things on, such as a Holy hour once a week, or spending 20 minutes each day reading and studying the Bible.
       - Abstinence- On Fridays during Lent, we ( as Catholics ) practice abstinence. Abstinence, during Lent is when you abstain from eating meat and replace it with fish instead.
       - Fasting- We fast and abstain on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, during the Lenten season. Fasting would be 1 regular meal + 2 smaller meals and no snacks.

     Our abstinence and fasting reminds us of the tremendous sacrifice that Jesus gave for us. For example: something I am giving up this year is coffee -- coffee isn't a bad thing, it doesn't distract me from my prayer life, so why give it up? -- because now every time I want coffee or am tempted to get some coffee, I will remember the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus' life and that I can sacrifice one small thing that I like. 

     What are some major days in Lent?

        - Ash Wednesday -"Remember, that you are dust, and to dust you shall return." Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent. Ashes is a sign of the sin that we carry and our willingness to repent for them. They are also a reminder of God's tremendous mercy for us. 

        - Palm Sunday - "With palms let us welcome the Lord as he comes." Palm Sunday is the Sunday before Easter, it recognizes Jesus' triumphant entrance into Jerusalem. The crowd in Jerusalem waved palms as Jesus rode in. 

        - Holy Thursday - "I have longed to eat this meal with you before I suffer." Holy Thursday, also known as Maundy Thursday, focuses on the Last Supper that Jesus had with His disciples. Holy Thursday is the institution of the Eucharist and the priesthood. It is a celebration of Passover. 

        - Good Friday - "Jesus Christ loved us, and poured out His own blood for us to wash away our sins." Good Friday marks the day that at 3pm, on Calvary, Jesus Christ, our savior shed His blood and was crucified for the eternal salvation of all souls. 

        - Easter Sunday- "The splendor of Christ risen from the dead has shone on the people redeemed by his blood, alleluia." Easter Sunday is the day that Christ is resurrected from the dead, it is a time of rejoicing and it is a sign of hope for new life, the conquering of death, and forgiveness of sins. 

"What the Christian should be doing at all times should be done now with 
greater care and devotion, so that the Lenten fast … may be fulfilled, not simply 
by abstinence from food but above all by the renunciation of sin. 
There is no more profitable practice as a companion to holy and spiritual fasting than that of almsgiving. This embraces under the single name of mercy many excellent works of devotion, so that the good intentions of all the faithful may be of equal value, even where their means are not … The person who shows love and compassion to those in any kind of affliction is blessed, not only with the virtue of good will but also with the gift of peace."
St. Leo the Great

   If you are like me, you never know what to give up for Lent. I usually linger on these long, drawn out, creative things to do/ give up and it never ends up happening or I talk myself out of it. Last year, I tried to do multiple things.


      I tried spending less time on my phone, that didn't last long. I tried cutting shower time down to 3-5 minutes, that lasted a little longer but not much. But one thing I did that I stuck with (for the most part) was something that I found on twitter, it was a page                        ( @WhatToGiveUp ) that gave you something new and interesting each day. I liked it because it was like I was on a mission each day, it was always a surprise. Some I liked more than others; and some I found to be more challenging and unrealistic than others. But it kept me interested and I didn't get bored.


     So with Lent quickly approaching, I decided to compile my own daily (and weekly) challenges with a list that I think everyone can do. Just some ideas for things you can give up/ do during all of Lent. I will definitely be following them, and I hope that you will also!

Ash Wednesday, March 5 - Get your ashes!

Thursday, March 6 - Limit your bath or shower to only 3 minutes of running water

Friday, March 7 - Say a decade of the rosary for an increase in vocations to the priesthood and religious life

Saturday, March 8 - Make and effort to listen to only positive music


*First Week of Lent - Take one hour out of the week to spend with the Lord in adoration.

Sunday, March 9 - Sunday is a day for rest, family, and worship. Take some time to reflect on this passage: "I wait for you O Lord, I lift my soul up to my God. In you I trust; do not let me be disgraced; do not let my enemies gloat over me. No one is disgraced who waits for you, by only those who lightly break faith. Make known to me your ways, Lord; teach me your paths." Psalm 25:1-4

Monday, March 10 - Give up snacking and eat only at regular meal times

Tuesday, March 11 - Take 10-15 minutes to learn about a Marian apparition ( Lourdes, Fatima, Medjugorje, Guadalupe, etc. )

Wednesday, March 12 - Clean out your closet! Get rid of at least 5 clothing items that you don't wear anymore and donate them.

Thursday, March 13 - Leave a surprise gift for someone.

Friday, March 14 - Give a thoughtful compliment to someone you know and to someone you don't know.

Saturday, March 15 - Do something that has been on your to-do list for a long time.


*Second Week of Lent - This week, write to someone who you appreciate/ haven't talked to in a while/ miss/ etc. and mail them a handwritten letter.

Sunday, March 16 - Sunday is a day for rest, family, and worship. Take some time to reflect on this passage: "But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, and formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name: you are mine. When you pass through the water, I will be with you; in the rivers you shall not drown. When you walk through fire, you shall not be burned; the flames shall not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your savior." Isaiah 43:1-3

Monday, March 17 - Give up your bed for the night

Tuesday, March 18 - Spend 10 minutes in prayer for someone you have difficulty relating to

Wednesday, March 19 - Give up all social media for the day

Thursday, March 20 - Text or email someone a good morning/ good day message and say a small prayer for them

Friday, March 21 - Replace all your usual beverages with water

Saturday, March 22 - Give up all sweets for the day


*Third Week of Lent - Make it a point to check your local Church's schedules for the sacrament of reconciliation and go to confession to cleanse your soul and receive God's infinite mercy.

Sunday, March 23 - Sunday is a day for rest, family, and worship. Take some time to reflect on this quote: "Better to illuminate than to merely shine, to deliver to other contemplated truths than merely to contemplate." -St. Thomas Aquinas

Monday, March 24 - Put a rock in your shoe and wear it all day as a constant reminder of the pain and agony that Jesus suffered for your salvation

Tuesday, March 25 - Write a letter to God

Wednesday, March 26 - Spend 30 minutes reading the Bible

Thursday, March 27 - Give up TV and video games for the day

Friday, March 28 - Try something new

Saturday, March 29 - Buy a religious item for yourself and a friend


*Fourth Week of Lent - Say a rosary How to Pray the Rosary

Sunday, March 30 - Sunday is a day for rest, family, and worship. Take some time to reflect on this quote: "Lord, take me from myself and give me to yourself." -St. Catherine of Siena

Monday, March 31 - Go a whole day (24 hrs.) without charging your phone 

Tuesday, April 1 - Clean your room

Wednesday, April 2 - Make an effort to let others go first

Thursday, April 3 - Hold back from gossiping and unnecessary talking

Friday, April 4 - Say a decade of the rosary for people who are living in poverty

Saturday, April 5 - Listen to some Gregorian Chants  "Salve Regina" (Hail Holy Queen in Latin)


*Fifth Week of Lent - Take time that you would usually spend on social media learning about the lives of saints.

Sunday, April 6 - Sunday is a day for rest, family, and worship. Take some time to reflect on this quote: "We always find that those who walked the closest to Christ, our Lord, were those who had to bear the greatest trials." -Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Monday, April 7 - Use lights as little as possible

Tuesday, April 8 - Use your least dominant hand to do daily tasks such as brushing your teeth and eating.

Wednesday, April 9 - Collect as much spare change as you can and donate it.

Thursday, April 10 - Clean something for someone else

Friday, April 11 - Sleep without pillows

Saturday, April 12 - Offer up chores for someone you know is going through a hard time


*Holy Week - Set time aside or use any spare time you have to go through and read the stations of the Cross and meditate on each station.

Palm Sunday, April 13 - Sunday is a day for rest, family, and worship. On this Palm Sunday go to mass and receive you blessed Palm to represent the palms that the crowd scattered as they welcomed him into Jerusalem, just as you are preparing to allow Jesus into your heart.

Monday, April 14 - At times when you would usually listen to music, refrain.

Tuesday, April 15 - Recite the Divine Mercy Chaplet  How to Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet

Wednesday, April 16 - Today is Pope Emeritus' ( Pope Benedict XVI ) birthday. Take some time to learn about his life and before and during his papal ministries.

Holy Thursday, April 17 - Have a meal with your family or friends

Good Friday, April 18 -  Have a jam session to this beauty of a song Good Friday - Josh Garrels

Holy Saturday, April 19 - Refrain from talking in person and over the phone as much as possible. Use the silent time to remember Christ's passion and death.


*Bonus Easter Party*

Easter Sunday, April 20 -  Happy Easter! Sunday is a day for rest, worship, and family. Go to mass, spend some extra time ( with Christ in the Eucharist if possible ) in prayer of thanksgiving.
"God our Father, by raising Christ your Son you conquered death and opened for us the way to eternal life. Let our celebration today raise up and renew our lives by the Spirit within us. Grant this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever." 

"I will not remember your sins… I have swept away your transgression like a

 cloud, and your sins like mist; return to me, for I have redeemed you."

Isaiah 43:25 ; 44:22

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam 

{ + JMJ + } 

Wagering Your Will

     Recently, an opportunity for a trip that I really want to go on came up. My parents are opposed to the idea due to location and timing. At first, I was really upset and mad, so I slept on it. When I woke up the next morning, I found myself still lingering in that same anger. I know this would be such an amazing opportunity for me so why isn't God letting it work out in my favor? So I decided to take it to prayer.



     Starting off the day by saying a quick prayer for this, something came to my attention; I had a fault in my prayer. It was almost as if I was wagering with God, and I was displaying a lack of trust in Him. I had caught myself saying "God, whatever Your will is, take me there, allow me to go on this trip if it is of Your will. Butttt please please let it be this." Emphasis on the second sentence of that. Don't get me wrong, this was really a prayer and I truly meant it, I just realized that it wasn't exactly how I should be regarding our Lord.



     The first part of that, "God, whatever Your will is, take me there, allow me to go on this trip if it is of Your will.", was genuine and it was good, and it showed my surrender to God's will even in my daily life.

     The second part, "But please let it be what I want it to be." contradicted the first part. It was almost as if by saying that second statement I was also saying that the first part was illegitimate and I didn't mean it. It was as if was ripping away this trust of my life in God's hand that I had just placed there.



     I let the idea go for a week or so, just to try and forget about it for a while since I was pretty sure I wasn't going to get to go. It was a waiting period, it left me sort of antsy. But it made me realize just what I was missing.



     God has His will. He has each and every one of our lives mapped out and planned perfectly, to fulfill us the most and lead us quickly to Heaven.

     But there can't be a what without a when. Not only does God have the perfect plan of what we're going to do with our lives but he also has exactly when things will happen. Our will should be God's will. It should be to totally surrender yourself to wherever he puts us, whenever, and accept it in a prayerful state.

"Every day we have to say yes. To be where he wants you to be. Total surrender: If he puts you in the street - if everything is taken from you and suddenly you find yourself in the street - to accept to be put in the street at that moment.. to accept whatever he gives and to give whatever he takes with a big smile. This surrender to God: to accept to be cut to pieces and yet every piece belonging to him. This is the surrender: to accept the people that come, the work that you happen to do. Today maybe you have nothing, There's no water in the pump? All right. To accept and to give whatever he takes. He takes your good name, he takes your health, yes. That's the surrender. And you are free then."

- Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta

     Now I know this is hard, and by no - and I mean no - means do I have it down packed.
And I know it seems like a lot, to give everything you have up and then you are supposed to be happy? What kind of bogus is that, right? We are living in a society that tells you 'money makes you happy', 'possessions, material items, drugs, alcohol, sex make you happy', 'buy this and you'll have all you've ever wanted'; but we have a counter-cultural faith.



     Our faith tells us to give these things up, to let them go, they are only temporary, they might make you happy but they will never fulfill you. Out faith tells us lack of such is better. Our faith proves to us that God AND His Will is where you will find your true fulfillment. After all, He made us; wouldn't the maker know what is best for his creation? Don't your clothes come with washing instructions from the manufacturer? Doesn't your (pre-packaged) food come with cooking instructions? Even things like shampoo has a label 'for best results..' So why wouldn't God - the creator of you, me, and all the universe, know what is best for our soul. He makes no mistakes.

Brothers and Sisters, 

Trust in God in all that you do. He will lead you down no wrong path, for His Will is perfect. His timing is perfect. Hold back from falling into the pleasures of society, but grip tightly to serving the Lord and His people with all your body and soul. For service is rest when it is out of love. Fervently pray for God to reveal His will to you - when the time is right. 

"We can only learn to know ourselves and do what we

 can - namely surrender our will and fulfill God's will in us." 

- St. Teresa of Avila

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam

{ + JMJ + }

The Lord Delights In You

The Lord delights in me?


     Are you sure? The God of all the universe delights in me? This is a question that I often find myself stuck on. It's also something I have to constantly be reassured of, not only by repeating it to myself (which isn't always very believable), but also hearing it from people who know I struggle with this concept. But it's the Truth! The Lord delights in me, and you, and everyone He has made. Because He made us in his own image and likeness, and what is more beautiful than God? God doesn't ask us to do amazing, wonderful, laborious, or extravagant things to gain His love, He gives it to us! He meets us right where we are at, in all of our shame and guilt and self-consciousness, and picks us up and says "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name: you are mine" Isaiah 43:1, but wait, it gets better, then the Lord continues to remind us in Isaiah 62:4 "No more shall men call you 'forsaken', or your land 'desolate', but you shall be called 'My Delight', for the Lord delights in you, and makes your land his spouse." Seriously, if you struggle with this like I do, read Isaiah!! 

Also, this book is awesome.

     If you Google 'delight' mostly all you'll get is pictures of flowers and desserts. Not that those can't be delightful but it's definitely not the type of delight we are talking about. True delight is saying that the Lord- God of the Universe- is greatly and immensely pleased with you. Not you in 20 years, not you when you hold the door open for someone, not when you get an A on your test, or have a good hair day, but now, right where you are, what you're doing, everything and there is nothing you or I can do to lose that Love, because it is eternal.



Matt Chandler- God Delights in You (Video)
"Do you understand God's delight and Love for you?"


     God is constantly knocking at the door of our hearts. He doesn't turn away and leave after there's no answer, He stays, He waits, and He continues to pursue us because He knows we are in there. 
When is the question. 
When are we going to open the doors to our hearts and let God in? 
When are we going to put complete trust in God?
When are we going to let down this guard, let go of our pride, become vulnerable, and allow God to work through us?

The Lord delights in YOU.
When are you going to start believing it?

"God is satisfied with the soul of goodwill."

-St. Louise de Marillac

{+JMJ+}