Recently, an opportunity for a trip that I really want to go on came up. My parents are opposed to the idea due to location and timing. At first, I was really upset and mad, so I slept on it. When I woke up the next morning, I found myself still lingering in that same anger. I know this would be such an amazing opportunity for me so why isn't God letting it work out in my favor? So I decided to take it to prayer.
Starting off the day by saying a quick prayer for this, something came to my attention; I had a fault in my prayer. It was almost as if I was wagering with God, and I was displaying a lack of trust in Him. I had caught myself saying "God, whatever Your will is, take me there, allow me to go on this trip if it is of Your will. Butttt please please let it be this." Emphasis on the second sentence of that. Don't get me wrong, this was really a prayer and I truly meant it, I just realized that it wasn't exactly how I should be regarding our Lord.
The first part of that, "God, whatever Your will is, take me there, allow me to go on this trip if it is of Your will.", was genuine and it was good, and it showed my surrender to God's will even in my daily life.
The second part, "But please let it be what I want it to be." contradicted the first part. It was almost as if by saying that second statement I was also saying that the first part was illegitimate and I didn't mean it. It was as if was ripping away this trust of my life in God's hand that I had just placed there.
I let the idea go for a week or so, just to try and forget about it for a while since I was pretty sure I wasn't going to get to go. It was a waiting period, it left me sort of antsy. But it made me realize just what I was missing.
God has His will. He has each and every one of our lives mapped out and planned perfectly, to fulfill us the most and lead us quickly to Heaven.
But there can't be a what without a when. Not only does God have the perfect plan of what we're going to do with our lives but he also has exactly when things will happen. Our will should be God's will. It should be to totally surrender yourself to wherever he puts us, whenever, and accept it in a prayerful state.
"Every day we have to say yes. To be where he wants you to be. Total surrender: If he puts you in the street - if everything is taken from you and suddenly you find yourself in the street - to accept to be put in the street at that moment.. to accept whatever he gives and to give whatever he takes with a big smile. This surrender to God: to accept to be cut to pieces and yet every piece belonging to him. This is the surrender: to accept the people that come, the work that you happen to do. Today maybe you have nothing, There's no water in the pump? All right. To accept and to give whatever he takes. He takes your good name, he takes your health, yes. That's the surrender. And you are free then."
- Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Now I know this is hard, and by no - and I mean no - means do I have it down packed.
And I know it seems like a lot, to give everything you have up and then you are supposed to be happy? What kind of bogus is that, right? We are living in a society that tells you 'money makes you happy', 'possessions, material items, drugs, alcohol, sex make you happy', 'buy this and you'll have all you've ever wanted'; but we have a counter-cultural faith.
Our faith tells us to give these things up, to let them go, they are only temporary, they might make you happy but they will never fulfill you. Out faith tells us lack of such is better. Our faith proves to us that God AND His Will is where you will find your true fulfillment. After all, He made us; wouldn't the maker know what is best for his creation? Don't your clothes come with washing instructions from the manufacturer? Doesn't your (pre-packaged) food come with cooking instructions? Even things like shampoo has a label 'for best results..' So why wouldn't God - the creator of you, me, and all the universe, know what is best for our soul. He makes no mistakes.
Brothers and Sisters,
Trust in God in all that you do. He will lead you down no wrong path, for His Will is perfect. His timing is perfect. Hold back from falling into the pleasures of society, but grip tightly to serving the Lord and His people with all your body and soul. For service is rest when it is out of love. Fervently pray for God to reveal His will to you - when the time is right.
"We can only learn to know ourselves and do what we
can - namely surrender our will and fulfill God's will in us."
- St. Teresa of Avila
Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam
{ + JMJ + }
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